[Story has updates below and a revised headline]

No, this is not a story about The Pope.

And no, this ain’t no story about My Chemical Romance’s record of the same name.

Today’s “Kiss the ring” story is a sordid tale about mafia oligarchs forcing United States Postal Service’s Board of Governors (who were themselves installed as loyal-MAGA footsoldiers) to pledge fealty to Steve Mnuchin, who himself feverishly pledges daily fealty to president* donald trump. Think: mentally challenged mafia circle-of-criminality.

Little Hitlers roaming about

Intentional sabotage is rampant within the USPS system at that hands of MAGA operatives, as I’ve covered for Cranky Yank extensively (here, here and here). Obese Nixon even admitted as much this week. These blatant and obvious actions will later be deemed federal felonies, but first things first: let’s break down how Steve Mnuchin is “Shadow Postmaster General” and, yes, acting like tRUmp’s Little Hitler. To be fair Little Hilters are buzzing around donald like flies to dog poo, including DeVos, Pompeo and others (Godwin’s Law be damned).

Former USPS inspector general/BoG member David Williams gave sworn testimony stating Mnuchin’s ransom “study” (LOL) of postal operations mandated that blue boxes be removed. Setting aside that it costs money to have boxes removed and sorting machines dismantled (don’t hold your breath for Mnuchin to calculate those figures) this entire charade is unconstitutional and “probably illegal” as Williams stated in testimony.

So who’s *actually* postmaster general?

Answer is both complicated and simple. Complex, of course, due to ways in which loan was extended by Treasury to USPS (which, by the by, is financially kicked in the balls because of GOP-think-tank-derived 2006 law passed via voice vote) which granted Mnuchin’s office broad latitude to monkey with the independent agency.

Simple because tRUmp—still furious and jealous of actual-billionaire Jeff Bezos—wanted to stick it to the dude who’s Washington Post is constantly outrageously reporting true things about Tangerine Saddam and his administration*. Being able to control/increase fees charged to Bezos’ Amazon.com is just one of 6,000 vindictive schemes carried out by tRUmp these past 3+ years.

Back to DeJoy: he’s a North Carolina-based tech oligarch with 0.00 years experience at Postal Service and, as we saw during his perjury-laden testimony, not very bright, generally speaking. Let’s toss to Jake Johnson at Common Dreams for more (emphasis mine):

Asked whether the board interviewed other qualified candidates for the postmaster general role, Williams answered in the affirmative and characterized DeJoy as uniquely unfit for the job, recounting that he had to be coached through his interviews.

If DeJoy is unfit for position of USPS PMG (he is) then the only other explanation is Mnuchin needed a stooge to acquiesce to bullcrap “terms and conditions” that, ultimately, are in place so that GOP can finish strangling USPS in the bathtub. As John McHugh, chairman of the Package Coalition advocacy group, told aforementioned WaPo: “One could argue this is just another step to making the treasury secretary the de facto postmaster general.”

Is this extortion? Sabotage? Garden-variety mafia play? A court of law will eventually decide that. But all signs point to Steve Mnuchin acting like a Ruinous Billionaire Thug who’s drunk on power, which is just fine with donald. 📪

UPDATE (Friday 6 Nov 2020): after a source read my story they reminded me that USPS is one of only a few agencies mentioned in U.S. Constitution. As such, any/all nutbags currently cheering on all-out assault on USPS operations should NEVER CALL THEMSELVES CONSTITUTIONAL CONSERVATIVES AGAIN. Oh and the Census should be redone to rectify all the ratfucking done to it. Here’s just one “constitutional conservative” pretending to care about democracy:

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Will Pollock is a perpetually crabby New York City escapee based in Midtown Atlanta. He’s a freelance multimedia journalist, media analyst and author of two books (award-winning Pizza for Good & Leaving Triscuit), with more on the way.

In 2001, Will earned his Masters from The Medill School of Journalism, graduating with highest honors from the magazine sequence. As permanent member of Journalism’s National Honors Society, he’s been active in monitoring, writing and blogging about media and journalism ever since he graduated.

Obsessed with good storytelling and journalistic excellence, Will uses snark, humor and reason to distill dumb shit and make it fun. He’s a seeker/maker of non-consensus news, and helps you cure crankies by finding the nut in every story.

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