WATCH: ‘Hey champ, did you commit treason on Wednesday?’

Explaining complex concepts to colicky children requires flashcards.

For hoppin-mad MAGA hillbillies who stormed the capitol with cellphones in their hunting jackets, a short video is our next-best option.

TikTok user and network administrator Clint Thomson posted quick explainer as to why just their mere presence is likely evidence of a crime. He opened his clip noting Capitol has many underground tunnels and needs robust cell service, which means lots of pings of data to carriers.

“Wireless networks probably had bluetooth beaconing turned on and WiFi triangulation,” Thomson says in the video. “Just by being in the vicinity they know where you were and when you were there. And they tracked you through the building.”

He concludes with something that might cause seditious MAGAs to sleep with one eye open.

“They may not have come for you yet —and they may not come for days or months—but once they get through those logs, they’re coming for you.”

My Twitter pal Mystery Solvent is posting lots of fun clips of folks getting dragged around airports, so make sure to follow!

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Will Pollock is a perpetually crabby New York City escapee based in Midtown Atlanta. He’s a freelance multimedia journalist, media analyst and author of two books (award-winning Pizza for Good & Leaving Triscuit), with more on the way.

In 2001, Will earned his Masters from The Medill School of Journalism, graduating with highest honors from the magazine sequence. As permanent member of Journalism’s National Honors Society, he’s been active in monitoring, writing and blogging about media and journalism ever since he graduated.

Obsessed with good storytelling and journalistic excellence, Will uses snark, humor and reason to distill dumb shit and make it fun. He’s a seeker/maker of non-consensus news, and helps you cure crankies by finding the nut in every story.

As for-profit media continues to fail us, it’s more important than ever to find reliable sources. Authentic storytelling exists—you just have to look for it. On this blog you’ll get ideas, not ideology. Sass with class. Reporting with rapport. Evidence with a touch of evil. You get the idea.

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