CrankyYank Vol. 12: NYDaily Ruthless | Anders in Wonderland | Angie’s List & More [UPDATED]

“what you do in life? what do you create?
what do you add to the human existence? That’s what matters.”
— Eddie Izzard

 

[this post has updates below]

In American politics, one cacophony begets another.

The New York Daily News, a tabloid from my hometown, has turned bashing Donald Trump into must-see performance art. And they bounce around twitter like a pinball machine on full-tilt. Here are a few of the more effective ones:

 

 

 

 

There are, obviously, many more to check out. Some of these images are so over-the-top that they pass farcical and become ridiculous. But The Donald is running a dramatic, hyperbolic, made-for-tv campaign, so the Daily News is responding in kind.

 

He can’t even get his Nazi salute right.

Low-life murderous asshole-dingus Anders Breivik has sued the Norwegian government over unfair treatment while in custody for his 18-year sentence. Boo freaking hoo. Before you get too weepy for Anders, check out his cushy confines (from the NY Times):

He lives in a three-room suite with windows, about 340 square feet, that includes a treadmill, a fridge, a DVD player, a Sony PlayStation and a desk with a typewriter. He has been taking distance-learning courses at his country’s main university. He has access to television, radio and newspapers. He prepares his own food, and he entered the Christmas gingerbread-house baking contest at his prison.

The killer of 77 innocent people is enjoying The Plaza luxury, especially when you think of the shithole he’d be living in if he’d committed his crime in America. I know people living in Manhattan who would pay through the nose for a flat like he has. For example (drawn from a NY Post piece): Carmel Place, on the lower East Side, has 360 sq. ft apartments renting for up to $3,150. With a few differences in location and appointments—like, say, freedom—this guy lives in $3K-per-month luxury and is still upset about the age of his fucking PlayStation.

I know ‘Merica is obsessed by and subsumed under the flashy, shiny object that is Election 2016. But when you drill down and consider the differences in our justice system vs. that of Norway, it’s an astonishing comparison.

Breivik’s incarceration is not without irony: he is being held in “confinement” in a maximum-security prison that is a former concentration camp. Irony notwithstanding, his cell has a “gas-pumping system to knock him out if he gets violent,” says The Sun:

Norway focuses on rehabilitation as opposed to punishment, clearly. But at what cost? What message does it send to anyone contemplating mass murder and terrorism? And how does someone that overtly disturbed and nasty learn any hard lessons while being coddled?

The victims’ families are also a model of calm. Read the whole NYT story to get a sense of how different life is in Denmark.

 

This animated gif is so epic that I nearly spit out my coffee. And then there’s Samantha Bee’s response to Joe Scarborough’s tweet telling Hillary Clinton to smile. You simply must see this pictorial thread in its entirety.

 

Eddie Izzard: Accidental Life Coach? Transgender activist and disrupter Eddie Izzard posts a direct-to-camera video narrating his gel manicure, but it turns out to be filled with valuable life lessons… Sam Smith has been spotted gettin’ jiggy with a number of pals, including TayTay Starhz and Adam Lambert… The Breitbart scandal continues to deepen, making the conservative news outlets look desperately and accurately partisan. (Read “Media: You’re All Breitbart” for a manifesto on the topic.)

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A post shared by ADAM LAMBERT (@adamlambert)

 

The great Angie Aparo is coming to Decatur, Ga.’s own Eddie’s Attic later this month. The Atlanta native wrote “Memphis City Rain,” one of my all-time favorite songs. You might also know him as the songwriter behind Faith Hill’s “Cry,” which won her a grammy.

The above live version is a wonderful glimpse inside the intricate artistry of songwriting, and how camaraderie is always at the heart of the exercise. Angie has a long list of accomplishments and songwriting credits to his name, and still has a lot left in him.

Buy “Memphis City Rain” here and make sure to score yourself the tickets to see him live at Eddie’s Attic. Along with Matthew Kahler, Shawn Mullins and others, he’s an Atlanta treasure.

 

Here’s a beautiful Atlanta time capsule, courtesy of author, professor, great pal and mentor Valerie Boyd—leader of a book workshop I took in 2008 that changed my life. We’ve come a long way, baby. ⬇️

The actual images (via Valerie):

 

 

 

After all those Trump covers, we need leave you on a much more positive note. This week’s Calming Capsule comes by way of YouTube’s Will Senior, who has posted many cool resources for the meditation-minded. Say it with me: “ohm.”

 

That’s it from me Cranker Darlings. We’ll see you right back here next Thursday at 2.

 

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Will Pollock is a crabby New York City escapee living in Atlanta. He’s a freelance multimedia journalist and author of two books (Pizza for Good & Leaving Triscuit), with more on the way. Sign up for the mailing list, follow on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram—and check out the book links below.

Don’t forget to comment below. Cranky loves company.