START-6

Cher has a second career waiting for her as a stand-up comedienne.

The Oscar winner appeared at numerous points in a campaign swing in support of Hillary Clinton in recent days, and even did an epic phoner with Lawrence O’Donnell that had me howling repeatedly.

But it was her lengthy riff on the dangerous idiocy of Donald Trump that was the most effective. “I just think he’s a fucking idiot.”

Donald Trump recently attended an Evangelical Nutjob jamboree led by David Lane, founder of The American Renewal Project. Lane recently told TheHill.com that “Homosexual totalitarianism is out of the closet; the militants are trying herd Christians there.” Well then.

I’ve always said that hysterical hyperbole isn’t a conservative value, but I’m starting to come around to the fact that over-dramatic proclamations get the most attention in today’s social media. They gravitate to hysterical statements to squeeze the most attention out of any given situation.

Back to Cher.

“How does Trump go from that meeting to telling my people that he’ll protect them? America has been so great for me. I was a poor child and had dyslexia—nothing said I could succeed in this country. I fear for what they’ll do for my people, and not just because of my son.

“My people will not believe him for a minute.”

Cher is 70 years young. There’s still time to ditch the acting and singing and do a comedy-club tour.

 

START-7

The Trump campaign got overtly whiter this week with the addition of Steve Bannon, who was brought in to manage his campaign and succeed the sketchy-beyond-all-reason cretin Paul Manafort. Bannon had been the head of Breitbart News, better known as “Alt Right” wingnut central.

It’s one thing to try and remake The Donald in the mold of “Compassionate Conservative” George W. Bush. (Even though we all know how that turned out.) But this guy is the poster-child for conspiracy theories galore.

There’s free speech, and there’s “look at me!!” speech. Steve Bannon is the latter. And it’s not the America I know, nor is there some sort of “silent majority” that’s continually oppressed. Linking arms with this guy just means he’s confirming what we already knew.

 

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On National Dog Day, treat your furry children to the post I threw up over at LeavingTriscuit.com: “Four Amazing Acts of Love for Your Furry Children.” Spoiler alert: one of them is a pitch to buy Leaving Triscuit for $2.99 while you still can. The offer is good until Labor Day—so get yours!

 

START-9

Michael Cohen reminds me of some of the mooks I used to know while growing up in Manhattan. His recent exchange with Brianna Keilar has become the stuff of dingus legend.

With a hattip to Brandy Rinehart, Randy Rainbow takes the interview and mashes up with lots of gay-fun banter. Take the minute and watch—it’s a riot.

 

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Our artist call for ARTvision Atlanta is in full swing, and we have our first entries! Make sure to lock in your submissions because the deadline if fast-approaching. Music, comedy, photography, painting, mixed-media—we take it all.

 

START-14

If music is a universal language, then Bobby McFerrin’s little ditty at the World Science Festival in ’09 will speak to everyone. Have a look at the above clip and see how tone matching can actually inspire people to sing in unison. (h/t Scott Grimes)

 

That’s it from me this week, Cranker Darlings. See you right back here next Thursday at 2.

Will Pollock is a cranky New York City escapee living in Atlanta. He’s a freelance multimedia journalist and author of two books (Pizza for Good & Leaving Triscuit), with more on the way. Sign up for the mailing list, follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram—and check out the book links below. (read more)

Don’t forget to comment below. Cranky loves company.

 

 

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