Republicans are cheating. tRUmp’s mafia goons are committing election fraud. They’re just super scared of going to prison, poor dears.

On our way to making Election 2020 “too big to rig” I decided to take look at swing states that typically report results early. Based on Politico’s semi-coherent piece, here’s my further analysis of three Eastern Time Zone states along with electoral votes allocated by racist and out-of-date Electoral College.

Going out on a limb to say media hand-wringing is bullshit and we’ll have a decisive result that Biden has evicted Russian asset squatting white house on Election Night.

Florida: 29 electoral votes

Sunshine State can start counting ballots as far as 2 weeks in advance of Election Day. And since Florida relies heavily on vote-by-mail there should be a huge chunk of Florida ballots already in. Quoting Sun-Sentinel’s Anthony Man:

5.5 million Florida voters have requested mail ballots for the presidential election, up from 3.4 million in 2016. And they’re coming back at a rapid pace since county supervisors of elections offices sent most of them from Sept. 24-Oct. 1. As of Thursday, 21.3% of the ballots have been returned statewide

Democrats in Florida have the advantage in total ballots requested and party affiliation so you might wanna read this Wink News piece as you’re connecting dots. Lots of open-source reporting suggests Florida might not be as Florida-y this election, despite what you’ve heard. But still never underestimate Florida to be Florida Man of Election 2020.

Georgia: 16 electoral votes

Like Florida, Georgia is a no-excuse absentee-ballot state with early tabulation. Republicans in that state, like so many others, are hysterically trying to gum up the works so voting is as hard as possible. Secretary of State Raffensperger decided “oh hey even though we’re in a pandemic let’s not automatically send voters absentee ballots!” Fuck him for that. Anyways, GOP-donor-controlled Dominion Voting Systems scanners are inexplicably being trusted to measure voter intent, which is patently hilarious. (I’ll save a deeper-dive on Dominion for later since I’m digressing.) Georgia already logged more absentee votes than all of 2016 and paints a similar picture to Florida. From AJC’s Mark Niesse:

About 40% of voters who have requested absentee ballots for the general election didn’t participate in the June 9 primary. Of those who did cast ballots in the primary, 60% used Democratic Party ballots and 38% voted Republican. The remaining 2% pulled nonpartisan ballots

Since Georgia can legally start counting 3 weeks prior to Election Day, we should have results or even a call on election night. Polling has Biden tied with Tangerine Nixon, for the record; close races are easy to ratf*ck which is why republicans in this state are hysterically suppressing votes.

North Carolina: 15 electoral votes

Oh, North Cackalacky. Such an amazing state with wonderful people poisoned by criminal-nutbag republicans who live and breathe MAGA cult. That’s not hyperbole. Like Georgia and Florida, no excuse is needed for an absentee ballot. As you might imagine, North Carolina has shattered its record ten-fold compared to 2016. Some of that is COVID, to be sure, but a lot of it can be attributed to the sick-and-tired voter wanted to make their voices heard. From Citizen Times’ Paul Woolverton:

Last week, the number of vote-by-mail absentee ballot requests in North Carolina passed 1 million, and as of Wednesday evening was nearly 1.14 million. Requests so far are about 10 times greater than they were at this point ahead of the election four years ago

North Carolina, like many other states where GOP is at war with democracy, has had myriad lawsuits to curtail voting. We’ll see how that plays out but early returns are promising. Just as you’re not going to over-estimate Florida, don’t forget republicans are cheating and committing election fraud across the country, which may or may not be successful. Watch this space. 🔵


Will Pollocksideways is a perpetually cranky New York City escapee based in Midtown Atlanta. He’s a freelance multimedia journalist, media analyst and author of two books (award-winning Pizza for Good & Leaving Triscuit), with more on the way.

In 2001, Will earned his Masters from The Medill School of Journalism, graduating with highest honors from the magazine sequence. As permanent member of Journalism’s National Honors Society, he’s been active in monitoring, writing and blogging about media and journalism ever since he graduated.

Obsessed with good storytelling and journalistic excellence, Will uses snark, humor and reason to distill dumb shit and make it fun. He’s a seeker/maker of non-consensus news, and helps you cure crankies by finding the nut in every story.

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2 thoughts

  1. Noice! I’m trying to stay not-hysterical here… And, as far as I can tell, my ballot has already been counted here in Broward. At least that’s what the site says.


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